the proposal

suddenly i am without words

happy people should have something happy enough to be put here to let people know that life is fair. every happiness will have their sad times. and sad times does not stay. there'll be a bright life ahead. the more pain you undergo, the bigger happiness will lead your way. but it all depend on one thing, how you accepting your fate with open heart. never stop believing in Allah's power. only to Him we go back.

why the statement above is the introduction..because i want to share the happiest moment i have recently. before this moment happen, i been through a lot. heartache over heartache. and always i will cry on my sleep, during my prayers. but never i give up on Him. i pray to Allah, please, let me be in love just with the guy that is going to be my husband. i couldn't take it anymore. getting hurt over and over again. for one year i pray for him to come..then one day, he came in a way where i feel so blessed. Subhanaallah. when my beloved friends,cousins undergo pain, the one i used to feel, i really really hope that they will stay strong and never stop believing that the jodoh will come in a good way and when it comes, no hesitation will occur.most important, istikharah.

a marriage proposal came to me. not by the guy but by his parents. i don't know him. never did we have any conversation during the years of growing up. but we do know each other because our parents are friends. when my dad ask me, my heart do not want to say no. i know his parents. they are nice people. i love his mother. so i have faith that this guy whom i accept to be my husband must someone nice also. just by knowing his parents. and i was not wrong. the day i accepted the ring from his mother, was the happiest moment and it felt different. a feeling where someone is accepting u, wanting u to be part of their family. that evening, i went out with his family. it was nice and warm. i grow to love each of them. even when at that time, i only start to have relationship with him. i fall in love with the family first. :)

that day, after i pray..my heart was full. the happiness, the peace, i thank Allah for everything that happen that moment. sujud syukur was the only action i could think of. i felt so bless that day.

now, being apart from him, getting to know him. my decision was right. he is perfect for me. he love me just the way i am. he wants me to be the best i can be, and never he stop me or complaint even when i am busy with my studies. he brings out the best in me, where no one could ever do. my hope and happiness lies on him now..i want to be the best wife to him, carry his child and take care of him. he will be my heaven on earth and my partner til the end.

him

i am blessed.

after for so long, finally you are here. YOU are my other half. the one i have been waiting for a very long time.

sayang,
nothing could ever make me feel this composed and calm. from the first moment i agree to accept your proposal, we make our family very happy. without realising, it is us living this life. i can say now, u complete me. i love the purity within you. i love the thought of having u in my life. but most of all, I LOVE YOU.

the flashback

the poem i'm going to publish below is the one i made months back, when i was in a very depressing moment. how do i get through those days? prayers, prayers, prayers and faith. Allah help me all the way. He granted each one of my wish. He gave me strength. I have been praying to be in love with just my 'going to be husband'. every guy that comes never seems to come close. so one day, i start to give up. that is how this poem created. Allah answered my prayers. i am going to be someone's wife, insyaAllah.

When does the sun really going to shine through my way
Right now, the clouds keep on covering the sun from shedding the light
It make me feel lost
Of hope and of love
I felt alone
In a place where there is everybody
It felt empty
In a place where a career is being made, a dream to catch and a determination to fill
Why does this wounded heart have to continue to be broken without being fixed by anyone
I need to see u my prince
The one thats going to love and to cherish me
The one for me to love endlessly without any hesitation
Where are u my dear one
I’m wrapped up with this wound
Continuing this journey, not knowing what is going to happen next
Being bombarded over and over again
By life, by every ups and downs
By myself
I need u to carry me on your shoulder
Bandage my wound
And hold my hand as i get through this
I need u my dear one
I need u, as someone that i know is there even when u’re not but its enough to get me through the day
I need u, as someone for me to call everyday and tells how the days goes by and it will make my day feel complete
I need u, as someone to share your life with,let me in your life,let me be there for you
I need u, as my friend that gives encouragement and criticism
I need u, as my lover, for me to love till this heart can’t give anymore..
I need u..somewhere out there, i know u’re mine,just that the fate not wanting us to meet..so i’ll wait till the right time comes. Til that day,i’ll wait.