kesadaran

bila pinangan itu masuk untuk diriku..saat itu aku merasakan bahagia dan ketenangan yang tidak dapat kuungkapkan dengan kata-kata. saat itu juga aku tahu aku bersedia untuk menjadi isteri yang baik kepada bakal suamiku. aku beristikharah, mengharapkan petunjuk dari yang Maha Esa. aku mahu yakin dialah lelaki yang Allah takdirkan untuk menjadi suami ku. hati aku tenang dan yakin, dia adalah orangnya.

aku bersedia untuk memberi sepenuh hati dan kesetiaan kepada dia.tapi..tidak ada istilah bercinta atau hubungan antara laki-laki dan perempuan sebelum nikah. kerna, setiap yang terjadi bertentangan dengan syariat atau hukum itu pasti akan mendatangkan masalah pada kedua pihak. dari pihak aku, aku sering merasa tidak tenang, tidak gembira dengan dirinya. aku merasa seolah-olah dia tidak menyayangi aku sepertimana aku menyayangi dia. belaian kasih yang aku dambakan tidak terpenuhi. aku sering marah, sedih dengan dia.

suatu hari aku berdoa, untuk Allah memberi aku petunjuk bagaimana aku harus menjalani hubungan dengan bakal suamiku sebelum kami bernikah. aku temu jawapan hari ini. aku akan berkawan dengan nya dan cuba mengenali hati budinya. tidak lebih dan tidak kurang sebagai kawan. aku yakin, apabila tiba masa, kami disatukan, cinta itu pasti berputik dengan sendirinya kerna Allah itu maha Pengasih lagi maha Penyayang. cinta yang hadir pasti akan lebih diredhai. aku akan berbuat mengikut jalan yang benar. sepertimana dia dtg kepadaku dengan cara yang baik. dengan cara yang betul dan baik juga kami akan mengalami perasaan cinta itu.

aku harap die bersabar dan aku harap die akan tahu,yakin bahwa aku akan menjadi yang terbaik utk dirinya.:)

wife

what being a wife means to me

i have a great role model, my mother. she is a great women, wife and mother. when i see my future as a wife, i see how i want to be just like my mother.

syurga pada seorang isteri adalah di bawah telapak kaki suami. semakin dia taat, semakin dekat nikmat kurniaan Allah itu. tidak susah untuk seorang wanita mendapat tempat di syurga, hanya dengan taat kepada suami. taat itu haruslah diperdalamkan, dipahami maksud sebenar. kekuatan wanita itu, tidak dapat dilihat secara zahir, tetapi dapat dirasa dan dilihat hasilnya. untuk taat sendiri pada suami, seorang isteri haruslah ikhlas dalam menjalani kehidupan bersama-sama dengan suami.

i have not been a wife yet, but i will be soon. i have only hopes, good dreams, about how i want to be the best i can for my future husband.

me being me

i can be fun to you..be crazy, and cool about certain stuff..but i can't hide the fact:

when i am stress, i will be needing you more than ever. just a simple hello or hye will be enough for me to get through the day. i dnt need you to make me happy. i just need you because the presence of you will make me stronger.

when i am happy, i will make you happy, because i dnt want to be having this feeling on my own.

when i am in the mood of wanting to be cuddle, i will give you sign such as,telling u i miss you..so much
when i am angry, it will be me, trying to put the anger off by telling you about it, but i dnt want u to help me..just listen.

i really want us to work..i really believe you are the one for me even when i see the difference in us.

i have faith in us.

the proposal

suddenly i am without words

happy people should have something happy enough to be put here to let people know that life is fair. every happiness will have their sad times. and sad times does not stay. there'll be a bright life ahead. the more pain you undergo, the bigger happiness will lead your way. but it all depend on one thing, how you accepting your fate with open heart. never stop believing in Allah's power. only to Him we go back.

why the statement above is the introduction..because i want to share the happiest moment i have recently. before this moment happen, i been through a lot. heartache over heartache. and always i will cry on my sleep, during my prayers. but never i give up on Him. i pray to Allah, please, let me be in love just with the guy that is going to be my husband. i couldn't take it anymore. getting hurt over and over again. for one year i pray for him to come..then one day, he came in a way where i feel so blessed. Subhanaallah. when my beloved friends,cousins undergo pain, the one i used to feel, i really really hope that they will stay strong and never stop believing that the jodoh will come in a good way and when it comes, no hesitation will occur.most important, istikharah.

a marriage proposal came to me. not by the guy but by his parents. i don't know him. never did we have any conversation during the years of growing up. but we do know each other because our parents are friends. when my dad ask me, my heart do not want to say no. i know his parents. they are nice people. i love his mother. so i have faith that this guy whom i accept to be my husband must someone nice also. just by knowing his parents. and i was not wrong. the day i accepted the ring from his mother, was the happiest moment and it felt different. a feeling where someone is accepting u, wanting u to be part of their family. that evening, i went out with his family. it was nice and warm. i grow to love each of them. even when at that time, i only start to have relationship with him. i fall in love with the family first. :)

that day, after i pray..my heart was full. the happiness, the peace, i thank Allah for everything that happen that moment. sujud syukur was the only action i could think of. i felt so bless that day.

now, being apart from him, getting to know him. my decision was right. he is perfect for me. he love me just the way i am. he wants me to be the best i can be, and never he stop me or complaint even when i am busy with my studies. he brings out the best in me, where no one could ever do. my hope and happiness lies on him now..i want to be the best wife to him, carry his child and take care of him. he will be my heaven on earth and my partner til the end.

him

i am blessed.

after for so long, finally you are here. YOU are my other half. the one i have been waiting for a very long time.

sayang,
nothing could ever make me feel this composed and calm. from the first moment i agree to accept your proposal, we make our family very happy. without realising, it is us living this life. i can say now, u complete me. i love the purity within you. i love the thought of having u in my life. but most of all, I LOVE YOU.

the flashback

the poem i'm going to publish below is the one i made months back, when i was in a very depressing moment. how do i get through those days? prayers, prayers, prayers and faith. Allah help me all the way. He granted each one of my wish. He gave me strength. I have been praying to be in love with just my 'going to be husband'. every guy that comes never seems to come close. so one day, i start to give up. that is how this poem created. Allah answered my prayers. i am going to be someone's wife, insyaAllah.

When does the sun really going to shine through my way
Right now, the clouds keep on covering the sun from shedding the light
It make me feel lost
Of hope and of love
I felt alone
In a place where there is everybody
It felt empty
In a place where a career is being made, a dream to catch and a determination to fill
Why does this wounded heart have to continue to be broken without being fixed by anyone
I need to see u my prince
The one thats going to love and to cherish me
The one for me to love endlessly without any hesitation
Where are u my dear one
I’m wrapped up with this wound
Continuing this journey, not knowing what is going to happen next
Being bombarded over and over again
By life, by every ups and downs
By myself
I need u to carry me on your shoulder
Bandage my wound
And hold my hand as i get through this
I need u my dear one
I need u, as someone that i know is there even when u’re not but its enough to get me through the day
I need u, as someone for me to call everyday and tells how the days goes by and it will make my day feel complete
I need u, as someone to share your life with,let me in your life,let me be there for you
I need u, as my friend that gives encouragement and criticism
I need u, as my lover, for me to love till this heart can’t give anymore..
I need u..somewhere out there, i know u’re mine,just that the fate not wanting us to meet..so i’ll wait till the right time comes. Til that day,i’ll wait.

the good things about being single are..

1) we get to have bestfriends number one on the list.

2) nobody get to tell me what to do.

3) no more drama, the never ending heartbreaking stories

4) i do what i like, when i want it and who i want to spend it with.

5) i get to have my own stand without being influenced by the other person.

6) i get to be myself most of the time.

7) i get to be stronger and independent.

8) my priority will be my family and friends.

after writting all the list above, i start to wonder myself, why does it not seem happy enough.huhu.by all means, being single have it pros and cons. but what important is, whatever happens, have faith that we'll lead a happy life.if we don't, then we should take charge and make sure we get the happiness we deserve.

no one is alone in this world.

heartbreaking

in the midst of everything that happen in this one week..it feels like i'm not really where i'm supposed to be. the body is at one place, but the mind and soul is someplace far away..

it feels like i need to write something to let it out, but there's no word to describe what i am feeling right now. O Allah, may this obstacle is going to make my heart grow stronger..

a happy place

i had a swim with my friends today.. water always calms me. people said, those who are born second in the siblings have the element of water, but i don't know wether it is true or not. when i get to know that, i think for a while, maybe it is true. i used to cry a lot when i was growing up and always have been liking the sea, pool or lake. i have this temptation to just walk in the rain while it is raining heavily and feel free to do it without the feeling of guilt if i catch a cold.

so as i swim today, doing laps, in my mind is this song by joshua radin-they bring me to you, because nowadays,it is a song that i really like and hear often. as i swim, i remember everything that ever happen to me that was bad. it was like i push it out of my soul for every stroke i take. it felt good. i was relief.

if people ask me, where is my happy place, it will be anywhere where i can just dive in and float myself.

someone used to teach me about a happy place. it is a place where u will feel save and that whatever bad happen, that place will make it go away. i always thought that the happy place is a place where your heart is, which is next to the person who loves you. but now, i have a different opinion. it is a place where you can find peace and relief.

everyday will be a day where something hazard happen, so when life gets tangled up, i'll just close my eyes imagine that i am in the pool, swimming through it. as one of my indonesian friend used to tell me "kita jalanin aja". living life to the fullest is what i am after. even when in my thought that death awaits.

a letter to the hateful person

It has been 8 months of me, hating u. for the hurt you have caused me and for the time i've wasted loving you when in fact u lie and betrayed me. the next words and sentence will not be about how i am hurt and how wrong you have been to me.

i'm going to say that, the road u and i go through was full of desperation and sorrow. i was immature and emotional that i don't use rationality when it comes to deal with you. when we started being friends, the first day we smsed each other, u are already telling me your problems. since that day, i've put in my mind that i'm going to help you with your problem. you were depressed and have a lot going on and the only person that u can confide in was me. it felt good being needed. i was really going to be just friends with you. but then, i make a really big mistake by falling in love with you.

at the time, we were always talking and confide with each other about everything and it felt good. that is when my head messed up everything and let the hearts win. i was suppose to be helping you with your deppression. i know i did, but i also put love into it.. which is wrong. i pull back after that. remember? i didn't want to be friends with you anymore because i was in love with you and you were with someone. u know how i felt that time, but u insisted of me staying. i stayed. i let myself loving you when it was very clear your heart was not with me. i wanted to make you happy. i wanted to change you and not be depress anymore.

there were days where i felt so useless and helpless because i was unable to make your deppression go away. if only i know what to say back then with the knowledge now that i have,it would be better for you. so here goes, what you believe is what make you think of yourself. when you said that you are worthless,unloved and with so many bad luck, it is all in your head and a belief that you yourself make so strong that cause you to live a miserable life. a belief that you yourself make become a reality. u can stop it. and only you can change what is in your mind and your belief towards yourself.

i was wrong too for messing up our friendship with my feelings.i should have just walk away. but i didn't and i regret it. i learn from it though. our journey and the pain make me who i am now. i'm grown to become this person who is going to catch her dream no matter what. thank u for believe in me.

i really hope you are well and not depress now. this i said truly from the bottom of my heart.

for the single ladies

its a wedding year for most of my school friends my batch. as i can see from fbs their wedding photos, their best romantic speech, i am happy :). but then, as a single lady at the age of 24, i can't stop myself from having the thought of "when will my time comes". so this entry is going to be dedicated to every single ladies who have the same thought as mine.

firstly, u are worth it. u might think that u are being single because u are not pretty enough,smart enough, fun enough, stylish enough, and the list goes on. trust me when i say this, u are the best u can be. and if u can't see past your weakness and look through your strength, then you are just going to be not enough for yourself.

secondly,each one of us is made a pair. its either we found him now, in this life, or later, in the afterlife. so we have to have this strong faith and redha.

thirdly, we can exist in this world without men. i'm not saying we don't need men, we do, it is fitrah manusia. but if we don't have them in our life now, never ever felt that u are weak or incomplete. because Allah will never test His servant with something the servant can't cope.

fourthly, never ever be with someone that u know is not good for you but u HAVE to be with him because u are afraid to be alone. its a big mistake trying to make your head thinks that the feeling will develop and u can put aside everything that is not good about him. i'm not asking u to be choosy, but then, u can make your own choice, its your life, but never ever make a choice out of fear. you will never be alone in this world as long as you have your faith, your family and your friends.

fifthly, we are living in this world now where there are more women than men, as it is already akhir zaman. so, if you are not married, don't even think about the word "andartu". what we should do then? pray and doa for Allah to give us a chance and bring our jodoh near to us, and may this jodoh is the best for us.

i'm not perfect, and i'm not saying it is easy me living this life. i have my own needs, and the desire to become a mother. but as someone used to tell me,God will not give us something that we want, but He will give us something that we need. we tend to overlook the things we need because we want something else so badly.

well, we also have to work for our jodoh. how to do it? make friends. open up yourself to a possibility that you will have someone in your life and be the best person you can be.

lastly,always believe in the timing of God.

love vs dream

girl: i'm sorry, i love you..but i don't think i love you enough to stand up for our love.

boy: why are you doing this to me again? have i not show you how my love towards you is bigger than i love myself?

girl: i know..but there's so much in front and i don't think WE can survive it..

(that was a conversation between two lovers who have great passion on one another but then the girl saw her dream lying in front that she can't afford to have both. the dream was too big and needed her all. she thinks that time, being 20 and so many opportunities in hand, love can wait..)

she was wrong..love waits for no one. u either grab it and never let it go or you choose not to have it.

now, the girl almost have what she wants..but she never felt emptier and desperate like she did now. it make her think back about the decision she take, choosing her dream and let go of the one person she knows love her perfectly and will never stop to love her no matter what.

when that guy moves on..she wants to be happy, for he have found his happiness and he's going to start a new life, by marrying that person. but how can she do that, when the regret and guilt is still there. when the thought of one day, he'll be back together with her still lingers. the thought that no one can love her the way he did.

8 years ago...
a girl and a boy never know that one look and one smile, it change their life and bring love to their heart. a passion that is so great that the love was felt for so many years even when they are apart and hating each other for so many years..
boy: i want to protect you and to love you forever
girl: i want to be your wife and love you forever

its just a memory now..the girl have her dream but with no one to love or be loved. and the boy gets married and lived happily ever after.

the crush

call me crazy, but i really really feeling like a little girl who found her first crush.OMG right??? hahahaha.so gedik of me.

frankly, i do that sooo many times, that i lost count. i have this habit of liking someone easily. most of the time, it shows,especially when i am talking to that particular person. i will grin widely and smile with my eyes. even my friends notice it. i really like to see good looking guys, especially if he is the type that is shy and play hard to get.:P

but now..hmm...it is really hard to not talk to this particular guy everyday. it is hard to not like him more everyday, when i know, i should not do that. because from the past, i know, when a girl likes a guy and go for it, usually, that guy won't appreciate the girl and truly love her. yes, now, the world is different, girl have the same fighting chance.

but trust me, trying to make a guy fall in love is not an easy work. they are very persistent with their feeling,especially if they truly found the one that they love. nothing can break that, not even with time. i learn that through a hard way. aih..

and don't think i try to steal someone's bf. i don't. he told me he broke up with her, for 3 years i believe that. and it was never like that.

by the way..i think i might like this guy even more. but the thing is, i'm not going to do anything about it. i'm just going to watch him everyday, smile,talk and be his friend:)

my besties

i'm so happy living here in indonesia with my girls.:) they are the best of friends one i could never imagine exist. i love them to bits for making me feel happy each day when they are around.

they are always there when i am sick, in trouble or in pain. there was a time, when i was warded, they took turns taking care of me. hold my hands when i was in pain because i couldn't pee. hold my hands, when i was in pain moving my legs and various other kinds.

i could never hate them. i could never want to stop being their friends no matter what. we're sisters.

AZ..somehow i couldn't figure out who looks like the eldest, u or D..hehe.but then, u have this strong character which is more mature and wise. u see things differently, and u make people feel special. and, dear, we used to be this soulmate. no secrets between each other. u know the darkest side of me. and u know me perfectly.

D..u are a one very strong girl. your strength is inspiring as i wish to have that strength. u just do what u feel right and voice out your opinion. you help people when they needed it without seeking any return from it. how pure your heart is. even with the strong appearance with stylish looking that shows no softness, i know, your heart is sincere and pure. i feel happy everytime i am with you, which sometimes, makes me want u to be here with me all the time.:)

AI..u are a very hardworking and determined girl. there are so many times, where we would like to have fun,where u would say no because u want to study. trust me, that is one strength i wish i could have, to say no to temptation.:p..u do things the way u want it to be, and don't care about others, meaning u know what u have to do and are not easily influenced by others. everytime i'm with you, i will have this courage to study and be a better in my studies. even with the determination and not easily influenced, i know u care.:)

F..i would say,we have a bit of the same character. maybe because both of us is soft and sweet.:P..there are so many drama between us, and yet, i still think of u part of us always. u're a very kind person, like D, u never hesitate to help. u help me a LOT! i really really miss u to bit.

girls,
we meet because of fate,
the fate that put us together in a very unlike situation,
but we stick together like a glue.

lets keep this bond,
even when the time comes and we have to be on our own way,
making plans, having a family, carry on with the future ahead,
we will have this special place in our hearts,
that have all the memories of us growing up in Indonesia.

love you girls to bits!

its been a wild week!!

frankly,i'm kinda tired with having this back pain again. not able to get up and walk to various place,do many kind of works with the ability to walk. how i am grateful with the days i'll get sometimes without those pain. i get it regularly now, because i'm in internal medicine department which force me to climb stairs and have night shifts and can't sit and walk around. so it is really not good for my back.

i was thinking, with the condition i have, will i be able to be pregnant and carry the baby for nine months????scary thought as being a mother is number two list with what i want in life.

if i can go working for 48 hours without sleep,climbing so many stairs, and stand for many hours, i think i can manage being pregnant.:P.hahah

Allah is there looking out for me. and He is the source of my strength.

i'm focusing to walk now..:)

depressing

maggie hangus was my nickname when i was in primary school. because my hair was curly like maggie and since its black, my friends decide to call me that.

my hair was my identity. there was once my mum's friend told my mum,if ever i was lost in the city, it will be easy to find me and recognise me as my mum's daughter because of my hair. its my identity that i am proud of, often when i was small, everytime i am in front of the mirror combing my long curly hair, i would tell myself, i'll be a very beautiful grown women one day..haha.so perasan of me that time.:P

i was eager to grow up since i was 12. that was when i get my first period. and never did i stop to think why would i want to grow up so fast. i was ready to buy make ups, put on handbags, and look older than my age, but i don't know why i did all that. all i know, i want to grow up fast.

12 years after..now, i look myself in the mirror and combing my hair, i have that flashback of myself with that thought 12 years ago..would i be proud of myself with what i achieve now????i'm not happy.

i am so far away from my family, miss all the moments seeing my little sisters and little brother grow up, my parents getting older, my nephew growing up to learn to speak and walk..i miss all that and i always regeret for having the thought of wanting to get away from my family 12 years ago.

i was immature back then, always been wild and wanting freedom from my parents. thats why i have that thought.

alone here, making all the wrong decisions. get myself in love with the biggest jerk ever, wasted 3 years loving him when it is not worth it. doing medicine here when i know, i'll get screwed over when i'm back in malaysia. why didn't i just do better the last time????

i'm at my lowest point right now and hoping to get up.

dearest

life is changing very fast..

my BESTFRIEND is GETTING MARRIED in a few months time with the guy i know, can take care of her and love her truthfully. when i watch adamaya, i see adam in my going-to-be bestfriend's husband. i'm happy because i know,its not fiction,that kind of guy does exist. to honor the responsibility and love sincerely.

but,that is not what i'm going to talk about.

i'm in a transititon zone now. in a few months time, everything will change. it felt like, i am standing still at the side of the road watching cars passes by carrying all the memories. on the other side, there's a bright light of the future.

but i can't stop or hesitate. it will change and i will adapt. i'll be a grown woman. make mistakes so i can learn. have fun going through the unexpected of life. lastly, to always be grateful with Allah.

dear bestfriend,
i love you like a sister,
i get mad over people who don't like you or talk bad about you,
i miss you when we are apart,
i seek for you when i am lonely,
u are my advisor, my friend and my sister,
as this time goes by,
i'll watch you being given away as a wife,
i'll pray for you everyday.

happiness will always come your way,
i used to tell you that right?
and i'm glad that i am right.

i'm going to miss you a lot,
but just go,
be a good wife i know you'll be.

i know its not a goodbye,
but i want you to know,
i'm going to be fine,
do not worry about me,
i'll get through the bright light of my future,
i'll learn to see my way through,
nothing is impossible to a willing heart.

u taught me that.:)

Love

its late at night. and this is the time where i usually have so many words in my head that goes around.

i'm 24 years old. i am single. at this age, i watch as my friends, settling down, to found their perfect match, it makes me wonder when will be the time i'll found mine. i believe in jodoh and fate. i believe, each human being are made a pair. no one is ever alone, its the matter when or where they meet. it can be here,now in this earth. or it can be in the afterlife.

i have so many love stories inside my pocket. the one i experienced, since i am at the age of 16 til 23. i have various kind. breaking hearts and get my heart broken. been there,done that.lets just say, i've been in both sides. that actually an advantage,because now, i know, what i really need in a guy.

i know i'll meet him one day. when that day comes, my heart will not hesitate and so does his heart. he'll love and accept me the way i am and will never stop me from doing what i love, understand my passion and break this walls i made for men.

wherever you are my prince charming,
i've been waiting for you for quite a while,
and it has been a very long journey,
when we meet,
i promise you my heart,
i promise you my love,
and i promise you my soul,
i'll be your wife and i'll mother your child,
and forever is what i will give you,
even when death do us apart.

the incident

The past 4 days have been like a roller-coaster for me. one minute, i was ready to go work, in the hospital. the next minute, i am lying in the bed of hospital with my leg couldn't move let alone walk.

all because, i bend down to take my shoes, and when i get up, i felt the muscle couldn't support my whole body. and as i grab my friend for aupport, i cried, panic because i couldn't walk. they carry me into a room, let me rest, inject me painkillers. but the pain just wouldn't go, so i need to be admitted. i cried more. the pain,the agony,the panic..all come at once. my groupmates, they all help me through it. from getting me admitted and to calm me down,everything.

it was like a dream when i was admitted. a dream i wish, i could wake up from. but my dear friends, future doctors, they are the best. they are like a family here,when my own is far away. they give me hope, they give me laughter and they give me support. O mighty Allah, You Blessed me with my surroundings that keeps me going and be strong.

even with so many thoughts in my head right now,i still couldn't stop wondering, how one small act can cause me to injured myself.but i am redha. redha dengan segala ketentuan dariNya.

to all my friends, who have been there, and you know who you are, you will be a great doctor to humankind. the people are very lucky to have u guys as their doctor.:)

Babbies :)

it really need an inspiration to write a blog. i really don't understand people can write so many stories in the blog between short interval of time. i was not inspired the past few days, because too many things happen which i think is not worth telling here. its a happy blog. And i am going to fill it with happy stories.

i've been doing medicine for 5 years now, and people always thought i will take my specialty in gynaecology & obstetric. i always told them that though and my reason will be because the birth process itself. then, i was in conflict to take peadiatric, because i thought since i love kids and can relate with them, i'll be good at it.

now, i really found my passion. and i am not thinking of the reason. i'm feeling it. my passion is babies. this past weeks, i've seen so many c-section. and several times, i will be in awe when the baby comes out. i praised to Allah, for making such creature so perfect. SubhanAllah.

i am so drawn to the little creature that Allah make so perfectly. Grey skin turns into pink, the eyes that close, waiting for the perfect moment to open and the cry, announcing to the world of their existence. everything is so beautiful.

why do i love babbies so much?

its like being alive for the first time and everything is still pure & untouched with so much to explore. the purity. the honesty and the innocence.

this passion is going to be my drive to push myself and be better. Achieving my way to be near to Allah and see His miracle everyday.

i would like to have my own babbies in my arms one day. be a great mother just like my mother.

my first post in 2010

Today,is the day that i decide,to go out in the world, experience life as i know it.

why i name my blog as drama queen..it does sound cheesy.but it is me.in my mind, i can play a lot of scenes and it can goes on, from how the beginning is and the end. to me, each drama played in my head is the same as there is in this real life. good thing happen to good people, true love exist and happily ever after also exist. that is why i call life is a stage. people play their role and part to other human being. that is what so artistic about human. they do not realise that at time, they are being observed, remembered and influenced others.

for myself, i share a lot of drama myself. from family to friends and love drama. it gets tiring..but i realised, it make my life more colourful than ever. when i start writting this blog, my ex-boyfriend was my inspiration. as u can read from my past post, it is all about him. it only showed how he influence me in my life where people who are not close will never understand. when he leave, he takes away almost everything that is good and strong within me. but now, i decide, he is in the past, and i want to move forward.

i have so much love around me. now, my inspiration is love. all the love that Allah give to me each day. how can one not see that? He is closer to you than any human is. i am never alone as long as this iman is inside me. from today onwards, this blog will be filled with the stories of love. love between humankind.